Leader Comma

Gone to Tumblr

2010-07-13T10:49:00.000-04:00

Up. Way up.

2010-01-04T16:46:00.016-05:00

After I saw G.I. JOE: The Rise of Cobra at the end of 2009 (see previous post), I was convinced that mankind had reached it’s lowest point and I begged the powers of the universe to terminate our lease. Then yesterday, after seeing Pixar’s Up, I realized I was wrong.

We’re not ready yet.

G.I. JOE : The Rise of Cobra

2009-12-18T18:30:00.010-05:00

Huns, Visigoths, man-eating aliens, four skeletons on flying horses, whatever. Bring it.

There is a God.

2009-11-13T11:49:00.001-05:00

And his name is Will Arnett.

It’s an oldy, but still awesome.

There Really is No God. Really.

2009-10-28T21:42:00.010-04:00

One need not look any further for indisputable proof that there is no God, no heaven, or great purpose for humankind than the comments on YouTube.

Absolut Suck

2009-09-25T16:17:00.023-04:00

Although they are all some sort of affront to my childhood, I could probably watch the recent Transformers movies, Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, or GI Joe: The Rise of Cobra and get through them reasonably unscathed. But when I saw this Absolut commercial that uses a version of New Order’s almost sacred Ceremony, I was gutted.

It’s like a bad chemical company’s PR commercial. I expected a sweaty-pitted Tilda Swinton to make an appearance at the conclusion of this northern Californian utopian pile of poo. I’m not sure what came first -- the band’s sell out or the ad agency’s buy out -- but some things in this world should/must remain untouchable by commerce or commercialism.

Absolut, suck it. New Order (now no longer), if you’re going to allow this shit to happen, then let Rock Band do it’s thing and reintroduce you and Joy Division to a new younger audience. Or at least allow us older folks to pretend to be you... before you sold out.

The Watchmen

2009-09-08T10:55:00.026-04:00

Sucked.

I never read the comicbook series, so before I saw it (compliments of Netflix’s new Blu-ray service), I thought “It’ll probably suck, but I bet the original comics were good and their integrity will remain unscathed.” But after that 3-hour-plus dog’s dinner I witnessed, I’m not so sure.

There were a couple of interesting and deeply disturbed characters, The Comedian and Rorschach. But an all-powerful glowing blue Chelsea go-go dancer who can do just about anything except have a personality? A reclusive loser Batman wanna-be? And a heroine who’s only noticeable super power is home-wrecking? All involved in a nauseating love triangle? All existing in an alternate universe even crappier than this one? Who gives a shit?

Not me.

Microsoft Apologizes

2009-08-26T13:37:00.004-04:00

Read PC World article.

This kind of stupidity makes me wonder why a company like Microsoft doesn’t have it’s own stock library. Duh.

Microsoft’s Photoshop & Diversity Skills

2009-08-25T17:52:00.006-04:00

Click for larger image

Suck. I guess Asians are allowed, or they just couldn’t “fix” that one.

Courtesy of Engadget

The Difference Between the Chinese and Korean Male Species:

2009-08-13T10:10:00.013-04:00

Korean male species.

Chinese male species.

A Korean guy would’ve thrown his wife overboard, then jumped in after her so they could both drown together.

Yerrow Peebah

2009-08-12T14:30:00.008-04:00

Webzines, blogs, boards, have recently been inundated with the “Asian girls and white guys” subject (even Marie-F’n-Claire contributed), but most have been big steaming piles of disappointment; unsubstantial and anemic without facts nor insight. Just a selection of angry or upset people wiping their asses on their keyboards and deeming it worthy because they possess a title, an opinion and an upload button.

But then I found this... and it made me smile.

John Hughs, Dead

2009-08-06T23:37:00.012-04:00

To the man who brought us The Breakfast Club, Ferris Bueller’s Day Off and Long Duk Dong: thanks for the laughs, and go fuck yourself.

Click here for a more eloquent version.

Wall Street Jiu-Jitsu

2009-07-23T11:12:00.006-04:00

Watch as this big drunk fool gets his come-uppins when he picks on a little* Korean guy who happens to know Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu. The full story involves the drunk fool making remarks about Koreans (his wife apparently one), and our hero walking away with a nice cash settlement.

I love the doorman’s (in)actions and how the tennants walk by totally unconcerned. Somebody should get Joe Rogan and Mike Goldberg to do play-by-play for this...

* smaller in comparison to his opponent; the brother is 5'6"/180lbs and was on a late night ice cream run

The Last Dragon

2009-07-22T13:38:00.011-04:00

Variety says Bruce Lee’s family have just okayed a three-part biopic on their late brother, the first part scheduled to be released on what would’ve been his 70th birthday.

Apparently Bruce’s bro and sis have been extremely disappointed by the 36 years worth of Bruce Lee “biographies”, so they are looking forward to seeing a more accurate depiction of his life. Ain’t they ever seen Dragon: The Bruce Lee Story? SO REAL!

For those who are new to this blog (or to me), please take that last statement with a grain of this.

Obi-wan: “That boy is our last hope.”

2009-06-24T13:48:00.004-04:00

Yoda: “No. There is another.”

Eastwood and the Slumdog

2009-06-09T00:28:00.016-04:00

I recently saw both Danny Boyle’s Oscar winning Slumdog Millionaire and Clint Eastwood’s Gran Torino, and unfortunately neither lived up to their respective hypes.

In fact, I found it amazing that Slumdog won the big prize, but considering both the Academy’s temperament and the giant poop-shoot that was 2008 in film (ie., 10,000 BC, Righteous Kill, Valkyrie) I guess it makes sense. I do commend Mr. Eastwood’s attempt to spotlight the little known Hmong people and using them exclusively in his cast. But when the car delivers the best supporting performance, it ain’t good.

The Endurance to Persevere

2009-05-26T10:35:00.014-04:00

Great article on the Korean Forrest Gump, Park Ji-sung, his influence on football, Korea, and on underdogs everywhere:

From the NYTimes:
The Endurance to Persevere
Park Ji-sung, Manchester United’s tireless South Korean midfielder, is expected to become the first Asian player to participate in the European Champions League final. Read

Match time is 2:45pm EST, Wednesday.

Speaking of Van Damme...

2009-05-23T12:49:00.010-04:00

What made the biggest impressions were the prices at the cinema ($12.50 admission, $6 small popcorn, $4 bottled water, then followed by – I swear to God — pleas for charity donations). However, it had bright spots, ie. the casting of Karl Urban as Dr. McCoy and his eventual performance. But in the end, they were dimmed by such things as Eric Bana’s dimensionless dimension-traveler, and John Cho’s Kumarless Harold in space.

JJ Abrams claimed that this movie would change everything you knew about the Star Trek universe, and that “The Future Begins”, but speaking of Van Damme, checkout JCVD (on Netflix). It actually will change what you know about ol’ Jean-Claude. But before this newfound respect for him is born within, let’s take a journey back to put into perspective how incredible his recent accomplishment truly is...

Ever Heard of Photoshop?

2009-04-28T17:52:00.011-04:00

Look! Up in the sky...
It’s a bird!
It’s a plane!

It’s... an asshead.

The Kowalski Addendumb

2009-04-09T15:00:00.011-04:00

Whether this idiot Betty Brown is possibly a writer for 24 is debatable (see Kowalski), however her comment is truly moronic if not despicable (even for Texas). I mean really, how hard is Lee, Kim, Chen, or even Ko?...

but “Ramey” is kinda gay.

...

2009-03-27T17:34:00.006-04:00

Frantic 911 Call: “My Wife Is Biting Me!”
Listen to the 911 call

Korea Loses

2009-03-24T22:50:00.015-04:00

The WBC Championship game between Korea and Japan was at least close, but in the uniform and—as my wife kept reminding me—the “good-looking” department: not so much.

After the game, I put a bag over my head and went to bed.

The Koreans of the West

2009-03-22T18:16:00.010-04:00

Man, can you imagine if there was an equivalent to St. Patrick’s Day for Korean-American’s (Like a St. Kim’s or Lee’s Day)?! It’d be just like any other anger-filled Friday/Saturday night in K-Town—but with greater purpose and without accountability.

Pray the Vatican also comes to this realization before any future canonizing.

The Irish of the East

2009-03-18T16:45:00.011-04:00

Here’s an old article from the Joong-An Daily paralleling the “Celtic Tiger” (now, not so much) and Korea’s economic hopes. The interesting part is how it touches on the similarities of both peoples, and how we Koreans are considered the “Irish of the East.”

As long as we’re not referred to as the “Idiot Irish-Americans on St. Patrick’s Day of the East”...

Kowalski

2009-03-03T13:01:00.005-05:00

I remember reading somewhere that Black Ops guys frequently use obscure names like “Kowalski” to remain anonymous. I guess the Pentagon has yet to realize that the entire Korean race comes in only four surnames. But I digress:

Whenever there’s an Asian guy on 24 (very infrequently and usually used as cannon fodder), they always have Anglo surnames. In last night’s episode, the Asian park ranger who gets killed was referred to as “Ranger Thompson”. Even Lost’s Daniel Dae Kim played “Agent Tom Baker” and I even recall one brother named “McCreary”. I’d like to see his own mother give that one a go.

A Tale of Two Stupids

2009-02-16T14:55:00.003-05:00

It was the dumbest of times.

It was the dumbester of times.

The Chaser

2009-01-18T12:43:00.011-05:00

Maybe it’s because I’m racially biased, or because I’m a fatalistic mofo, but Korean cinema never ceases to impress me these days. Last year’s The Chaser (Chu-gyeog-ja) is the best crime thriller I've seen since Seven. But it’s not a who-dun-it, but a where-be-the-lotion-rubbing-fat-girl-in-the-pit. Good luck to Warner Bros (currently remaking it) finding folks who can match the performances in this original, particularly by Kim Yoon-suk (above, left). But the cellphone problem that the killer went to great lengths to create could easily be translated into U.S. vernacular by just giving all the victims AT&T powered iPhones.

It’s intensely brutal and emotionally exhausting, but there’s a commentary on women carried through the story that I found revitalizing. And this is Na Hong-jin’s directorial debut, so I also saw a bright future of more kick-ass movies.

Stick to K-Town

2009-01-15T12:43:00.012-05:00

I’m sure you all remember the meat protests in Seoul this past summer. See, we Koreans take eating and anger manifestation almost as seriously as drinking alcohol and self-loathing.

So my dream is to invite a group of Koreans to this new “Korean” restaurant Moim in Park Slope, Brooklyn and watch them level the place in sheer simian-like rage after being told that: the ban-chan wasn’t free, egg is not included in their bi-bim-bap (an extra $1.50 on top of the original $16), they couldn’t grill their own meat at the table, and yes, we put tomato paste in the kim-chi chi-gae.

I’ve heard that Moim has received several good reviews. This convinces me that either the idiot from that NYTimes article (previous posting) has something to do with them, or that there’s some SERIOUS oral sex being given reciprocally.

Maybe I should’ve ordered that.

The Last Samurai

2008-07-24T21:21:00.015-04:00

When I last visited my mother, she noticed how I loved to read the old issues of The New York Times Magazine that still lay around the house. Since then, my mother has been lovingly mailing me 3 or 4 of her old issues at a time once a month, so that I can read them on my commute. She’s the best.

On the final page of the June 8, 2008 architecture issue, I came across its Lives article Urban Seoul by Gabe Hudson. There were so many ways in which this piece was… well… shit. I expect the editors of The New York Times to be more discerning and cognisant of diverse perspectives than to publish this kind of “Last Samurai” crap.

I congratulate you, Mr. Hudson, on being able to stomach a little spicy food and having a miniskirt-wearing fashion slave girlfriend, but you’ll never need to rescue me from a “fellow American.” And you will never belong.

The Asian Fit

2008-05-17T12:14:00.013-04:00

Looks like somebody realized that it’s not just our eyes that are different:

oakley.com/asian_fit

Deep within their design bunker, there must be a fellow Korean bobble head. Now I can finally go and try on their glasses without worrying about snapping them in half. Thanks for the heads up, Rick.

Open your eyes People

2008-05-13T11:31:00.012-04:00

This week’s issue of People Magazine has an article on Rain’s U.S. movie debut in Speed Racer, and features a photo of the wrong Korean! This “Asian blindness” is more (or less) perplexing because the writer of the article is presumably also Asian (Alexis Chiu). She must wear glasses ... or contacts ... green ones ...

Radar article

Back when New Order was still new...

2008-05-08T17:48:00.014-04:00

Listening to Cut Copy’s In Ghost Colours and M83’s Saturdays =Youth takes me back — back to when Michael was black, U2 was angry, and the Flav was both. Back to when I thought the 80’s were as good as it was ever going to get.

Yasukuni

2008-05-05T14:08:00.009-04:00

The film Yasukuni opened today in Japan but under police protection... I’m assuming from possible ninja attack. I guess it’s okay to have anime showing women getting raped (and subsequently torn in half) by alien demon monsters with super cocks, but an introspective documentary is out of the question. Let the healing begin Mr. Roboto.

Busted

2008-04-30T17:02:00.007-04:00

From the reprinted Samsung Annual Report:

Samsung’s Chairman Resigns

If do right, no can defense...

2008-04-23T15:36:00.007-04:00

I thought it was “right” with Ralph and Pat. A Remake of The Karate Kid with Jaden and Stephen with Will (every non-African-American’s favorite African-American) behind the camera? I dunno... I mean, who could possible replay the “body bag” kid?

UFC 83: GSP vs Serra

2008-04-21T14:19:00.010-04:00

After Matt Serra KO-ed him just over a year ago in UFC 69, Georges St. Pierre claimed that it “was the best thing that could have happened.” It sounded like a generic statement a young and extremely promising ex-champ would make post-dethroning. But since then, GSP quietly made changes and improvements both professionally and personally. Then began his systematic destruction of the toughest competition the UFC had to offer, culminating in his dismantling of Matt Hughes in UFC 79 (which he took on short notice). Then it was announced that his rematch with Serra, a chance at the title and redemption, would happen in his hometown.

On Saturday night in Montreal, he reclaimed the UFC welterweight championship belt. I guess it was the best thing that could’ve happened to him.

The 36th Chamber

2008-04-18T10:40:00.008-04:00

Gleason’s boxing gym opened in the Bronx (currently in DUMBO) back when white people who spoke with accents lived in the neighborhood. Jake LaMotta trained there, and it was the home away from home for the likes of Ali, Duran, Julio Cesar Chavez and Karl J's folks. No spas, no juice bars, no Blackberrys – it’s old school – just spit buckets, stink, respect, and now, me... feeling like San Te after rolling out of a basket of cabbages.

Going back to Kyoto

2008-04-16T11:33:00.010-04:00

Our President is lame-ducking again, revising his stance on global warming, but let’s face it, he’s about 8 years too late and is still against mandatory caps on greenhouse emissions, because he “wouldn’t want to do anything to hurt the economy.”

Never mind the war in Iraq or his administration’s foreign and domestic policies – it’s clean air that the real culprit here.

Never Forever

2008-04-15T11:33:00.016-04:00

A wife (Vera Farmiga) becomes a whore to become a mother? Both her husband and lover are Koreans, and they’re not played by white guys in yellowface? The world’s done gone crazy!

From an interview with Gina Kim, regarding her film Never Forever :

The race element was definitely one of the jumping-off points for Never Forever. The story came along when I started to teach at Harvard University. I had never lived on the East Coast before and was struck by how Boston lacks ethnic diversity. I became more conscious of my own race then ever before (having been born and raised in Korea, I had very little awareness of race). I became intrigued by how Asian people are perceived in the mainstream culture. I was always aware by how Asian women are overtly sexualized in American pop culture, but had very little knowledge about how Asian men were perceived. Most of them are completely de-sexualized, and are very rarely portrayed as subjects of desire. But of course there are exceptions, who often “happen” to be good-looking, successful professionals (lawyers, doctors, etc.) who went to ivy league schools. When I investigated the distinction, I realized that it is a class issue more than anything else. Asian working-class men, who are poor first-generation immigrants, are often completely de-sexualized — unlike, say, Latino laborers. On the other end of the spectrum, the upper-class Asian men are the ones who are desirable enough to get Caucasian women. I wanted to subvert this stereotype.

First Posting

2008-04-14T15:03:00.003-04:00

Ain no.