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After I saw G.I. JOE: The Rise of Cobra at the end of 2009 (see previous post), I was convinced that mankind had reached it’s lowest point and I begged the powers of the universe to terminate our lease. Then yesterday, after seeing Pixar’s Up, I realized I was wrong.

We’re not ready yet.

 

G.I. JOE : The Rise of Cobra

Huns, Visigoths, man-eating aliens, four skeletons on flying horses, whatever. Bring it.


  

There is a God.

And his name is Will Arnett.

It’s an oldy, but still awesome.

There Really is No God. Really.

One need not look any further for indisputable proof that there is no God, no heaven, or great purpose for humankind than the comments on YouTube.

Absolut Suck

Although they are all some sort of affront to my childhood, I could probably watch the recent Transformers movies, Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, or GI Joe: The Rise of Cobra and get through them reasonably unscathed. But when I saw this Absolut commercial that uses a version of New Order’s almost sacred Ceremony, I was gutted.

It’s like a bad chemical company’s PR commercial. I expected a sweaty-pitted Tilda Swinton to make an appearance at the conclusion of this northern Californian utopian pile of poo. I’m not sure what came first -- the band’s sell out or the ad agency’s buy out -- but some things in this world should/must remain untouchable by commerce or commercialism.

Absolut, suck it. New Order (now no longer), if you’re going to allow this shit to happen, then let Rock Band do it’s thing and reintroduce you and Joy Division to a new younger audience. Or at least allow us older folks to pretend to be you... before you sold out.

The Watchmen

Sucked.

I never read the comicbook series, so before I saw it (compliments of Netflix’s new Blu-ray service), I thought “It’ll probably suck, but I bet the original comics were good and their integrity will remain unscathed.” But after that 3-hour-plus dog’s dinner I witnessed, I’m not so sure.

There were a couple of interesting and deeply disturbed characters, The Comedian and Rorschach. But an all-powerful glowing blue Chelsea go-go dancer who can do just about anything except have a personality? A reclusive loser Batman wanna-be? And a heroine who’s only noticeable super power is home-wrecking? All involved in a nauseating love triangle? All existing in an alternate universe even crappier than this one? Who gives a shit?

Not me.

   

Microsoft Apologizes

Read PC World article.

This kind of stupidity makes me wonder why a company like Microsoft doesn’t have it’s own stock library. Duh.

Microsoft’s Photoshop & Diversity Skills

Click for larger image

Suck. I guess Asians are allowed, or they just couldn’t “fix” that one.

Courtesy of Engadget

The Difference Between the Chinese and Korean Male Species:

Korean male species.

Chinese male species.

A Korean guy would’ve thrown his wife overboard, then jumped in after her so they could both drown together.